Baby #1

One fall morning in 2000, I received a distress call from my wife who was expecting our first child. A “genetic counselor” had called with the news that a genetic test confirmed that our unborn baby had Down Syndrome. One extra chromosome sent our future into a hard left turn … across traffic … on two wheels … with its eyes closed.

I reacted by sitting silently, freaking out on the inside and wondering just how much our lives would change, or, more accurately, how what we expected life to be like as parents would change. Given the instinctual options of fight or flight, I chose fight. And to be effective I had to know my enemy… so I Googled it.

In hindsight, we feel very fortunate that we knew before he was born. We read all that we could, talked to other parents who went through what we were facing, and we were able to prepare ourselves. Equally important, we were able to prepare our family and friends, so no awkward silences when people visited us in the hospital, no “mongoloid” references from old Aunt Gert, and no grief. It was just as birth should be, filled with joy and celebration.

Baby #2

Benno came along 30 months later. We didn’t feel the need for genetic testing during that pregnancy. We had only one hope, that he would be healthy, and we felt fortunate that he was born healthy and “normal.” We settled into a fairly comfortable routine.

Warning: Never get too comfortable! It wasn’t long before both boys were diagnosed with autism. Now Mr. Future was in a barrel roll heading for the wall. Over the years, Ben’s list of diagnoses has expanded to include ADD, trichotillomania, and OCD (I know I’m forgetting one or two).  The one that is dominant changes from year to year, month to month, even hour to hour some days.

It’s a daily struggle for them and us, just like it is for every person and family living in the special needs world. Not only do we all deal with the boys’ various limitations, but we also deal with the limited understanding and acceptance of others. That said, things are much better today than they were in the past, when children with disabilities were hidden from the public or, worse, confined in institutions.

The Bright Side

The good news is that today every person, regardless of perceived capabilities, can achieve the unexpected and contribute to society in meaningful ways. By bringing those with the needs and desires, but not the capability, together with those with the capability and the desire to help, perceptions shift toward every person’s unique value, instead of their relative abilities.

This blog is my contribution to that effort. With every post I will share inspiring stories about people with special needs and those who give from their heart, mind and soul to make life better for them. My hope is that “Special Ops” will educate the uneducated, inspire the uninspired, and in some way contribute to the eventual death of “normal” as an adjective.

Follow Along

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Thanks for reading. I look forward to sharing this journey with you.

About me: I am Pete Resler, a dad of two boys with special needs. I created this blog to tell stories of incredibly good people, including those with special needs and those who give of themselves to make life better for them. My hope is that these stories expose more people to what’s good in the special needs world and inspire them to give of themselves to make life better for those with special needs.

You can help:  I’m always looking for new ideas. If you know someone you think should be featured, shoot me a note at specialopstories@gmail.com.